The Legend Of Sesame Street: Twilight Elmo
by TheAkira185
Summary: The beloved children's tv stars from the street they call Sesame, will set out on a journey to Hyrule. Will their street smarts be enough to stop Ganondorf and his new ally? All will be answered.  Brought to you by the letter Q.
1. Chapter One

_**The Legend of Sesame Street:**_

_**Twilight Elmo**_

_**Chapter One: The Epicness Begins**_

One day in Hyrule, on the street they call Sesame, there was a giant bird named Big Bird. Big Bird was your normal bad ass of the neighborhood. He would hang out with his gang, The Bad Ass Puppet Crew. They would terrorize all the normal citizens. On this day in specific Big Bird and one of his closest friends,Snuffleufugus, joined together and left Sesame Street. They had gotten annoyed with Elmo so they shot both of his legs and stuffed him Oscar's trash can. So, they had to escape from there or the Sesame cops would arrest their bad asses.

On their journery to escape from their badassery crimes, they ran into a fairy named Navi. Navi was talking in this high pitched fairy talk. So they took out their AK47s and shot Navi to death. Then they continued with their journey.

"...Hey, Big Bird, do you think that it was bad to kill that fairy?" ,Snuffleufugus asked.

" HELL NO!... DON'T TURN SOFT ON ME, DAMMIT!" Big Bird screamed with anger.

"... I am no-...", Snuffleufugus was cut off by the neigh of a horse up the road.

They walked up the road to find this big brown horse attached to a fence. Snuffleufugus did not to need to ride a horse cause he was bigger than the horse, but Big Bird was being lazy so he decided he wanted to steal this lovely horse. He started to untie the rope that attatched the horse to the fence, but Snuffleufugus interrupted him.

"... Uhm, Big Bird, don't you think that stealing that horse was bad?" Snuffleufugus asked concerned.

" Damn, I am getting sick of your effing games dude, man up! And of course I knew it was bad. I would have not done it if it was good... Geez." Big Bird said obviously extremely pissed off.

"... Big Bird, I think your should, uh,... uhm... "

" You think I should what?... Hmm?" Big Bird asked even more pissed.

"... You should return the horse... " Snuffleufugus was not aware of how deeply he was going to regret saying that.

"Man, I hate to do this, but you are turning to the light side... Good bye.. And I will see you in Hell, when I get there." With a tear in his eye Big Bird, took out his AK47 and shot Snuffleufugus between his eyes.

After this, Big Bird was more of a bad ass then he ever was. He realized he could not avenge his friends life, considering he was the one who shot him. And frankly, he did not want commit suicide. So he continued his travels with he and his dead buddy's AK47.


	2. Chapter Two

_**Chapter Two: Big Bird Realizes Something**_

It was about a week later, and Big Bird was riding on the horse he stole about a week ago. He named the horse Egona. Anyway, Big Bird was getting close to a village called Ordon. On his way, he found he was being chased by a guy with a green tunic and blond hair. Big Bird realized it when he heard the sound effects, "HYAAH!" and "HAGH!"... No words, just sound effects. Big Bird had also realized that the reason this dude is probably chasing him is because of the horse. Big Bird got off Egona.

" Hey, this your horse?", Big Bird asks hoping he says no and just wants to fight cause he is a badass as well.

"... Huff... Huff... ***nods***"

"... Damn, oh well. I got what I wanted. I just needed to get to Ordon faster... And taking a horse works... But here ya go. What is her name anyway?"

"... HYAAAeponaAAAH!" The man said.

"Oh... Uhm, alright then... Your name?" Big Bird asked sounding kind of confused.

"HYAAlinkAAH!" The man said.

"... Okay, Link, I guess I am sorry about your horse... " Big Bird said creeped out because he is being nice.

"Hyah. ***points to dead fluffy elephant that apperently he dragged along while chasing Big Bird***" Link said.

"... Snuffleufugus?... Why Link?" Big Bird asked shocked and sad.

" Hyah? HYAAAisn'theyourfriendAAAH!" Link asked.

" Yeah, he was. Not anymore... Well, obviously because he is dead." Big Bird said kind of sad.

"HYAAfollowmeAAAAH!" Link said.

"... Oh okay then... Guess I have nothing else to do." Big Bird said and started to follow Link.


	3. Chapter Three

_**Chapter Three: Ordon Village**_

Big Bird, Link, and Epona head to Ordon. When they get there Link is bombarded by the villagers. A girl whose name Big Bird overheard as Ilia, was yelling at Link for getting Epona dirty. Link just rolled his eyes like he was used to the yelling and verbal abuse from this girl. Then two brothers named Malo and Talo came and started poking and pulling Big Bird's giant yellow feathers.

"Hey, what are you?" asked Talo.

"I am a giant yellow bird, kid... Now stop doing that to my feathers." Big Bird said kind of irritated.

"Yeah, okay. Ooo, hey Link, do you think since you are back, you can teach us new sword moves? Come on!"

"I think he is exshuasted, Talo. Let him rest for a while." Said Talo's younger brother, Malo.

"***Link waves to Big Bird to follow him***"

"Okay, where we going?"

"... HYAAAmyhouseAAAAH... " Link said.

" Okay, cool. Wait, are you letting me stay at your house?" Big Bird asked.

"***nods***"

"Oh, uhm, thank you. I appreciate it..." Big Bird said.

" HYAAnoproblemAAAH." Link said.

They arrived at Link's house a few minutes later. It was in a tree so Big Bird sort of felt at home. They started climbing up the ladder when a spider came out of nowhere and started attacking Big Bird.

"Holy shit! An effing spider!" Screamed Big Bird.

"***slashes spider with his sword* **HYAAH!" Link screamed as he slashed up the spider.

" Thank you man." Big Bird said relieved.

"HYAAyourwelcomeAAH." Link said.

They were now in Link's house, and Link gave Big Bird some bread and milk. Then Link whipped out his glass bottle of milk that he always carries with him and epicly started chugging it. Then, when they were done, Link showed Big Bird aroud his house and showed Big Bird where he can sleep. After that, they walked around Ordon village. They visited fado at the ranch and helped herd his goats.

Then Big Bird watched Link teach the kids new sword moves. He was quite impressed with Link's skills with a sword. Big Bird was not used to swords, because people on Sesame Street use a thing called guns. He realized people here do not know what guns are. They use bow and arrows and swords more than anything else. So he decided to ask Link a question when they arrived back at Link's house.

"Hey Link, how could I get myself a nice sword?" Big Bird asked.

Link looked kind of caught off guard by this question. "HYAAAyoucanbuyoneormakeone,icanhelpyouAAAH!" Link said.

" Oh thank you, man." Big Bird said pleased.

"HYAAAyou'." Link said.

"Coo-" Big Bird was cut off by a knock at Link's door.

"THIS IS THE SESAME POLICE! OPEN UP! WE ARE LOOKING FOR A YELLOW BIRD NAMED BIG BIRD! WE HEARD YOU HAVE HIM IN HERE! WE HAVE SOMEONE HERE HE NEEDS TO SEE!"

" Oh no, this can't be good." Big Bird says upset.

" HYAAthatisnotsesamepolice,thatisGanondorf'smenAAAH!" Link said in a whisper.

"... Oh! I heard of Ganondorf before. He is a tall ugly dude, right?" Big Bird asked.

"HYAAAuh,!" Link said.


	4. Chapter Four

_**Chapter Four: Okay, Now The Epicness Begins**_

Link opened his door and the big policemen tried to grab him, but he ducked. There were three of them and the fat one grabbed ahold of Big Bird, but he took out his AK47 and shot the dude in the shoulder.

"WHAT IS THAT GIANT THING THAT JUST SHOT ME?" Asked the fat police guy.

" It is called a gun." Said Big Bird acting all cool. Then he kicks the dude in the groin and he falls down.

" HYAAgoodjob,BigBirdAAH!" Link said.

Then Link, Big Bird and the last two policemen hear a faint song outside it went like this: _**"Rubber ducky you're the one, rubber ducky you make bathtime so much fun"**_. Of course Big Bird recognized that song anywhere it was his friend Ernie's song for bathing in the tub with a rubber duck.

All of a sudden, following the sound of two gun shots the two remaining policemen fell to the ground. And standing at the door were, Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street. They were as badass as Big Bird.

" Oh my gosh! Bert, Ernie, I haven't seen you guys in forever!" Big Bird exclaimed in excitement.

" Heya, Big Bird." said Ernie.

" We saw these dudes following you when you left Sesame Street. So, we decided to follow them, following you. Just to make sure they would not cause any trouble. Who is the blondy?" Bert asked.

"... His name is Link. He is letting me stay here at his house." Big Bird said.

"... Hey, Link, can we stay here for a few days?" Ernie asked.

"... HYAAiguesssoAAH!" Link said.

" Thank you, meh man."

"HYAAyourwelcomeAAH!" Link said.

As everyone agreed it was time for bed, they went to sleep. Not too far away in a tower there was Ganondorf, Link's nemesis, and Ganondorf's new sidekick, Elmo. Since Elmo had his legs shot he could no longer walk. He wanted revenge by killing Big Bird and Snuffleufugus, but he did not need to kill Snuffleufugus because he is already dead. So he joined forces with Ganondorf, like Big Bird had joined up with Link. Now they were plotting.

"How soon do you think we can get them, Ganondorf?" Elmo asked.

" In a few days, we do not to want to be too fast, but we also need to do it soon. Don't worry my dear little red furry creature. We will get them and kill them." Ganondorf said.

"Yaaay!" Elmo exclaimed.


	5. Chapter Five

_**Chapter Five: More Epicness**_

Big Bird woke up hearing "HYAAH!" outside. He knew it was Link, so he went outside and saw Link practicing some spinny move with sword. Big Bird noticed that Bert and Ernie were getting ready to practice with their guns too. So he figured he would go down and test his gun out and remind Link about his sword.

" G'morning guys, Hey Link, When can we make me a sword?" Big Bird asked.

"HYAArightnowactuallyAAAH!" Link said.

"Haha! Alright, let's do this!" Big Bird exclaimed.

It was the next day and Big Bird got up and sprinted to go see if his sword was done. Link was standing there holding it epicly. It had a nice long blade, and a nice handle. Big Bird said thank you and took the sword and put in the sheath and attached it to the belt he had made the night before.

"HYAAhereisashieldaswellAAH!" Link said and handed him the shield big enough to protect the giant bird.

" Oh, thank you Link. I appreciate this. I will use them well. You know something, I think I like being a good guy. It has pretty good advantages."

"HYAAyup,yourwelcomeAAAH." Link said.

" Heya, when are we gonna go and defeat that Ganondorf dude?" Ernie asked.

" Yeah, when are we?" Bert repeated the question.

" ,." Link said.

"Yeah, I need to get ready myself." said Big Bird.

"Alright, but I am ready whenever you guys are." Bert and Ernie said in unison.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six: The First Night**

The journey began along the road. The group had to stop to sleep for their first night. There seemed to be a few, uh, interesting situations.

" Hey, guys. Let's stop and set up camp for the night." said Big Bird.

"HYAAgoodideaBigBirdAAH." Link agreed.

" Okay, I will set up the tent- ... Uhm, there seems to be only three tents..." Ernie said in deep confuzzlement.

" I know there were four." Big Bird said.

" Uhm, well I guess there is not. hehe..." Bert said and chuckled to himself.

" ." Link stated.

" Yeah I guess s-..." Ernie was cut off by an outburst from Bert.

" I WILL SHARE WITH LINK!" Bert shouted in obvious excitement.

Everyone stared at Bert with a shocked look upon there faces.

" Well Big Bird obviously needs his own... I mean no offense you are big dude, and Ernie... You just need your own. So, I figure Link and I will share one because

are both of decent stature and-... " Bert was interrupted in the middle of his lame excuse.

" Just shut up Bert... You can share a tent with him, geez." Ernie said.

" Really Link?" Bert asked for assurance.

" HYAAyeahsureAAAH." Link said.

" Alright. " Bert said trying to hide his great excitement.

So the night had begun. Link was tying Epona to a tree right beside the tent him and Bert would be staying in. Bert went over to Link to talk to him while Ernie and

Big Bird were starting a fire.

" Hey, Link... I have a question." Bert said.

"HYAAkay,shootAAH." Link said.

" So, uh, have ya ever heard of the movie Broke Back Mountain?" Bert asked.

" HYAAwhatisamovieAAH?" Link asked confuzzed.

" Oh, uh, nevermind then. Hehe." Bert said in a disappointed voice.

" HYAAalrightthenAAH." Link said.

So, the night went on and it was time to go to bed. Big Bird and Ernie went to their seperate tents. While Bert and Link went to their shared tent.

" Hey, do you want the left or right side?" Bert asked.

" HYAAidonotmindAAH." Link said.

" Okay." Bert said as he crawled into tent and layed on left side.

Link crawled in and layed in on the right.

" HYAAgoodnightBertAAH." Link said as he turned to face away from Bert.

" Night, Link." Bert said while still laying facing towards Link.

Later, that same night, Link awoke hearing noises coming from over on Bert's side of the tent. He looked over to see Bert rolling around repeating Link's name and moaning. This is what Link heard: " LINK! Oh, Link! HAVE ME NOW! Ohhhh YES! Oh LINK!"... Link was a little freaked out so he quietly proceeded to leave the tent. Not that Bert would actually hear him leave on account of all the noise he was making. So, Link went over to Big Bird's tent and asked if he could stay there the rest of the night.

It was morning now. The whole morning Link did not set a foot near Bert. He stayed as far away as possible. Now that everyone was all packed up and ready to go, they set off again on their quest.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven: A Stop at Kakariko**

The gang was on the road, Link upon Epona, and the other three walked along side. All of them chatting here and there about silly little things, and stopping to rest every several hours or so. Link was still a bit creeped out being close to Bert, but he tried to manage.

" Sooo, how long do you think it will take to get to Ganondorf's tower?" Big Bird asked Link.

" HYAAmaybeabouttwonightsAAH." Link said estimating.

" Ahh, alrighty. Sounds good to me." Says Big Bird.

" Hmm, I am hung- " Bert was starting to say something but was interrupted by Ernie (because noone likes Bert).

" Hopefully we get to the tower before Ganondorf and Elmo do anything crazy." Ernie says to the group.

" HYAAthatwouldbenice,yesAAH." Link agrees.

In the tower residing Ganondorf and Elmo there was a lot of Uno being played. But Ganondorf was losing greatly to Elmo.

" HAHA! BEAT THAT!" Elmo exclaims as he lays down his last card.

" ARRGGGGHHHH! DAAAMMMIIIIT!" Ganondorf exclaimed in a great uproar of anger.

" Sore loser, much Ganondorf? Haha." Elmo says with a smirk.

" OH SHUT UP YOU! YOU ARE JUST A FURRY RED PIECE OF CRAP!" Ganondorf violently exclaims.

" Hey now, Ganondorf, remember the power I give you. I can take it away. When I came to you, you were cutting yourself and were about to die." Elmo said.

" What? I was not cutting! But yes, I was on the verge of dying, and I thank you for the power you have supplied me with. For that I am most grateful." Ganondorf said almost apolagetically.

" Alright. As I thought." Elmo said.

Now back to the trio (plus Bert). They are walking along the road and they stop at an inn called Elde Inn. It was located in a village called Kakariko Village. Link gets off of Epona and ties her to a convient piece of wood sticking out of the ground by the inn. They all were greeted by this big friendly Goron, he smiled at them, but when Bert entered the inn last, the Goron's friendly smile faded and he slowly shook his head.

Link walks up to the bartender and asked, "HYAA can I get three of the special and one milk refill AAH?"

The bartender looks at Link a bit confused, but he eventually gets Link's strange dialect, he replies " Yes, hold on a sec." The bartender gets the three alcoholic beverages, then refills Link's empty milk bottle.

" Here ya go, sir." ,the bartender hands their drinks to the four of them. They all said thanks, and went to a table.

" Ahh, I haven't had anything this good since I was in Elmo's World, at Sesame Street." Ernie said thinking back at memories.

" HYAAwhatisElmo'sWorl-" ,Link had started to say, but was intterupted by Bert's random outburst, which made things slightly awkward.

" I HEARD THERE WAS A HOT SRPING HERE." Bert said very loudly, attracting a few lookers.

" Anyway, Elmo's World is a really good bar from where we came from." Big Bird replied to Link's unfinished question, ignoring Bert completely.

" HYAAoh,okay is cool AAH." Link said to Big Bird.

" Yes, very. Hey, we have an hour or two before we should go to sleep. What is there to do? " Big Bird asked

A Goron popped his head in the door to answer Big Bird's question.

" There is a lovely hot spring right above the inn here. It is very relaxing, and it seems like you guys need awhile to do so. It is free." The friendly Goron imformed.

" HYAAit is pretty 's go up to it then AAH." Link said.

" Sounds like a good idea to me." Big Bird and Ernie both agreed.

" Y'know, I am going to get some shut eye." Bert says feeling sad, then finsihed his drink and went up stairs. Link sighed in relief to himself quietly.

They then presumed to make their way up to the hot spring, after their drinks.


End file.
